How not to run a marathon

For those who don't know,  I'm running the Derry Marathon again. It's on June 4.
I haven't been bragging about it as much as I did last year.
My confidence took a huge knock in 2016. I had done everything right, trained hard, eaten properly and drunk so much water that work considered moving my desk to the ladies bathroom.
But in 26 degree heat on marathon day last year, severe dehydration set in and it all went a bit pear shaped.
I did make it to the end........... thanks to help from a huge squad of supporters.
But it wasn't my finest moment.

So after doing it all right last year to disastrous effects, I've decided to do it all wrong this year with the hope it will give me a better outcome.
Instead of swearing myself off the booze like I did last year - I've been seeking comfort in Guinness.
I suppose my realisation about how I'd lost my way came about last week.
As I sat in the beer garden of Campbell's Bar at the foot of the iconic Croagh Patrick mountain nursing some very sore calves, I realised that climbing a 2,000 foot mountain six weeks before my 26.2 mile climb was probably a bad idea.
This pint was probably a bad idea too. It's the first and probably last pint of Guinness I'll ever have. I'm not really sure what my Dad sees in the black stuff.
But I'm back on the wagon today.
Six weeks until the big day. I'm already way behind in my training. I've lost two toenails (sorry if you choked on your cornflakes, but try being me) and I think I'm on the verge of buying my third set of trainers this year.
But I'm doing it, I'm up to 16 miles and this week I'm going for 18.
I've sworn not to touch a chip, a pint or a packet of crisps until June 4, when I cross that finish line.
My IPOD has been loaded with a new selection of running songs that range from Erasure's 'I Love to Hate You' to Olivia Newton John's 'Physical' (although my husband said he only put that on for a joke).
So if you can put up with me for a few weeks I'll keep you updated on how I'm doing.
Because let's face it - there aren't many overweight, gin loving 39 year-olds like myself doing the marathon.
It won't be pretty, it most probably will be whiney but I'll definitely be giving it my best shot.
Starting tonight - a run to Newbuildings and back
I'll keep you posted.